


Please, Don’t Leave Me

by i_have_n0_idea_what_im_d0ing



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I’m bad at tags, Other, uhhhh Logan’s got abandonment issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-25 01:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17111600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_have_n0_idea_what_im_d0ing/pseuds/i_have_n0_idea_what_im_d0ing
Summary: “I'm terrified of the day you'll realize I'm not enough! I'm left witless at they thought of you finding out you can do so much better. I'm horrified at the inevitability of you leaving me. I'm petrified by the thought of you leaving me more broken than before.”Warnings: Abandonment issuesPlease tell me if there are any I need to add!





	Please, Don’t Leave Me

"Hey, Logan, bud, we wanted to talk to you about something."

The glasses wearing boy looked up at his foster dad, Thomas, who was at his doorway. The inevitable rejection day. Another family (well, person in this case) that didn't want him. Another return to the system. The boy had built up his walls so much that he'd grown almost stony. The pain of being let down time and time again made him cold and analytical.

"Yes, mister Sanders?"

"I've made a decision."

'I'll be sending you back' he thought, almost tuning his foster parent out.

"Yes?"

"I'd like to adopt you as my child."

Logan's world froze. Wait... really? No tricks or pranks or anything? His wide eyes looked up at the smiling man. He was blurry. He felt his cheeks. Wet. His face was... wet. He was crying. The man before him frowned, looking scared and worried.

"L-Logan? Is... is everything okay? I-I... did I do something wrong?"

Logan didn't respond verbally, instead launching himself towards the man, enveloping him into a hug.

"Th-th-thank y-y-you, mister Sanders."

"Dad is fine, Logan."

"Okay... Dad."

——

College. This was going to be an entirely new experience. He'd managed to get in on a full ride since, one, he was a huge nerd, and two, what else is there to do when you don't have any friends other than study and work?

He had gotten an apartment near the college with three other roommates that he didn't know. The cost was reasonable and the apartment was convenient. The roommates were all strangers and they had a bedroom and closet each, so it was a very good deal.

"Hiya! I'm Patton! What's your name?"

A cheery man greeted him at the door upon arrival.

"Logan. I believe that I'm one of your roommates."

"Oh, yeah! Welcome to the apartment!" The man, who Logan noted was wearing a polo, khakis, and a cardigan around his neck, opened the door wider to let him in. "Roman and Virgil aren't here yet, so you get to choose from the three rooms that are left!"

Logan nodded, looking around. It was fairly empty. They’d have to get furniture and cooking appliances later, but that was okay. He walked to each room, examining the sizes. There was one bathroom for them all to share. There was a commons area and a connected kitchen.

He returned to the rooms, choosing the smallest one. After all, why would he need that much space? He rearranged the preexisting furniture (a bed and a small side table) in the way that he liked. He went to the boxes that he’d brought and pulled out his belongings: clothes, notebooks, binders, pens, pencils, books, and a single photograph of him and his dad.

He was smiling softly as his dad grinned wide with an arm around his son. Logan had just graduated from high school and Thomas couldn’t have been prouder. Logan smiled at the memory, his first accomplishment in a family.

He set it on his bedside table, making a mental note to buy a desk later in the day. He set up his closet full of dark colored polos, ties, and jeans. He left his school supplies on the floor, putting them in an order that he would need them in, a color for every class.

He was called to the common room by Patton at around 8:30 P.M.

“Yes, Patton?”

“Lo, we’re ordering pizza, do you want anything?”

“I’ll have a couple of plain slices, please. Thank you.”

He went to close the door, but Patton stopped him.

“Oh, don’t you wanna meet the others? They got here a while ago.”

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get acquainted.”

“Oh, goodie! Roman! Virge! Logan’s gonna join us!”

As long as I don’t get too attached, I’ll be fine.

——

Logan was not fine. Despite his efforts, he’d grown to care for his roommates greatly, betraying himself and falling for them. The cheery, caring Patton, the loud, boisterous Roman, and the quiet, snarky Virgil had all captured his heart.

No, he thought, I can’t fall for them.

But who was he kidding? He’d fallen, and he’d fallen hard.

“Logan? Would you mind coming out to the commons, please?” Roman said, quietly knocking at his door. Logan sighed, saving his document, and standing up from his desk, moving towards the door.

The three others were in the commons, Patton and Virgil on the couch, and Roman standing in front of the T.V. The dark polo-clad man took a seat in a recliner next to the couch.

"What seems to be the matter, Roman?"

"Yeah, What's wrong, Ro? You look a little nervous."

Roman visibly gave himself a mental pep talk before opening his mouth.

"ISORTAKINDAREALLYHAVEAHUGECRUSHONALLOFYOU"

Everyone stared at him. They all had a vague idea of what he had said, but no one was sure.

"Woah there, Princey. Slow your roll. What did you say?"

Roman took a deep breath, closing his eyes. In a voice which he projected louder than he had intended (pretending that he was on stage rather than doing this on real life).

"I have an extremely gay crush on all three of you. I'm asking if you would like to be my boyfriends."

Patton launched himself towards Roman.

"I'd love to, Roro!"

Virgil chuckled.

"Sure, Princey. Sounds great."

"Logan?"

All eyes were on the intellectual. Oh no. They expected him to answer. He wanted to say yes. His heart was crying out for the love of the others, but his mind didn't trust them. He didn't trust that they wouldn't shatter his heart in a million tiny pieces.

So what did he do?

He made a dash out of the room, and out of the apartment, leaving his confused and heart broken roommates in the apartment.

——

It took a while, but his roommates did finally corner the nerd at some point. There was no way to escape. He had no classes, he'd done all of his work, and he wasn't out of the apartment, nor did he need to be for the rest of the day.

They were seated in the commons, Logan on the couch, Roman on the recliner, Patton on another recliner, and Virgil sitting backwards on a chair in front of the T.V.

"Do you hate us?"

"No."

"Do you have a crush on us?"

"... No..."

"Specs, you're terrible at lying."

"Roman, be nice."

"I am not attracted to any of you."

Lies. They all looked at him expectantly, knowing that he had lied.

"I-I-I don't... experience a-any at-traction to a-any o-of yo-you..."

"Logan... Please... What's wrong?"

Logan, the calm, collected robot, was on the verge of tears, looking down in shame. He couldn't stand their sorrowful expressions.

"Loga-"

"I love you. I love you all, but... I'm scared, alright? I'm terrified of the day you'll realize I'm not enough! I'm left witless at they thought of you finding out you can do so much better. I'm horrified at the inevitability of you leaving me. I'm petrified by the thought of you leaving me more broken than before. My own parents didn't want me. I was put into the system! I wasn't even adopted until I was 17! Do you want to know how many families I thought were going to be the one? I don't know. I lost count! I love you all, but I’m scared. I-I...."

He started hiccuping over his words, crying his eyes out. He removed his glasses, curling in on himself, crying in front of his three roommates.

The other three watched as their usually put together roommate collapsed in on himself, crying and sobbing into his hands.

That was when they realized that Logan didn’t see it as an If scenario. He saw

"L-Logan? Can I... Can I touch you?" Patton asked tentatively.

"I-I-I wou-would ra-rath-ther you n-not..."

"Alright, well, the three of us are here for you no matter what. We're not going anywhere. I'm gonna need you to breathe for me, okay, Lo? In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Do it with me, okay?"

They ran through the breathing drill several times in order to calm the usually logical man down.

"Can I touch you now?"

"...yes."

Patton softly hugged the slightly panicky man, whispering quiet reassurances into his ear.

"Patton? Roman? Virgil?"

"Yeah"s chorused around the room.

"Would... Would you take me as your boyfriend?"

"Absolutely."

——

They'd been dating for a fairly long time at this point, almost five years. Logan had had off days, asking where the others were going, who they were going with, he knew that he should trust them, but he just couldn't help it. He'd been seeing a therapist to try to get better, and it was working, slowly, but surely.

But, something that had not exactly been smart was Roman, Virgil, and Patton planning something behind Logan's back. Saying the phrase "Logan, we need to talk." was not a good idea either.

On the date that they had gone out on which they said that phrase, Logan was left bawling.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll do better. Just give me time, please. Don’t break up with me. I’m trying. Please. Please. Please. I’m sorry. I-I can do better. I’ll get better. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You can do so much better than me, but please. Please. Please. I-“

His babbling was cut off by Patton holding his hand, silent tear coming from the cardigan clad man’s eyes. Logan took this as an invitation to hug him tight, which he did.

“There’s no need to apologize, Lo. We shouldn’t have phrased it like that. We are not breaking up with you, honey.”

“Yes, in fact, we wanted to ask you a question,” Roman pulled something from his pocket, “would you like to marry us?”

This time, the tears were a good thing.

——

“Hey, darling, I’m heading out to the store. I’ll be back.”

“I know”


End file.
